The Lounge Because education doesn’t just live in programs, it lives in conversation. Vol. 2026 September 16th, 2026 Hi Reader, Do you think of arousal like a light switch? It’s either flipped on or off? I mean it’s literally, called being “turned on,” so I don’t blame you if so! Well, let’s consider today the start of the end of that mentality. That isn’t actually how arousal works. It’s not an on-off switch that you can flip whenever you want. And even if you think of desire like a light...
15 days ago • 5 min read
The Lounge Because education doesn’t just live in programs, it lives in conversation. Vol. 2026 August 28, 2026 Hi Reader, We talk a lot about "finding yourself." Especially when we're talking about identity, relationships, and sexuality. But, I wonder if "finding yourself" sends the right message. It can sound as though there's a finished version of you somewhere inside, waiting to be uncovered. If I've learned to accept anything over the last 12 years as a psychotherapist, it's that there...
about 1 month ago • 2 min read
The Lounge Because education doesn’t just live in programs, it lives in conversation. Vol. 2026 August 25, 2026 Hi Reader, I see a lot of us trying to change ourselves through self-criticism. "I'll never be more confident." "I should want more sex." "I hate that I'm not more adventurous." "Why can't I be more like her." "There's something wrong with me. " "I should be able to orgasm." "Why do I suck at this?" And underneath all of those shoulds, doubts and, frankly, meanness, is often an...
about 1 month ago • 3 min read
The Lounge Because education doesn’t just live in programs, it lives in conversation. Vol. 2026 August 21st, 2026 Hi Reader, I don't think understanding your sexual story means being stuck in it. Though that tends to be the worry I hear people carry when we start exploring. They worry they're going to end up dwelling on the past and they'll get trapped. In fact, I think it can create the opposite. It can give you more choice and help you shed some of the fear and shame you've been carrying...
about 1 month ago • 2 min read
The Lounge Because education doesn’t just live in programs, it lives in conversation. Vol. 2026 August 18th, 2026 Hey Reader, We all have a sexual story. This story lives inside us and is the product of an entire life of relationships, learning, and experiences. It guides our beliefs about ourselves, the world, and our partners. This story came from so many sources... What we were told. What was never spoken, yet deeply understood. What was modeled for us. What we celebrated and how we were...
about 1 month ago • 3 min read
The Lounge Because education doesn’t just live in programs, it lives in conversation. Vol. 2026 June 17th, 2026 Hi Reader, As you know, this month we're focusing on being intentional, not prescriptive. Let's dive into our reader's question on the topic. . . TL;DR Sometimes the thing standing between you and novelty isn't a lack of ideas, but rather fear, stress, uncertainty, or pressure. Trying something new every time you have sex can make novelty feel like a job. The goal isn't to perform...
4 months ago • 4 min read
The Lounge Because education doesn’t just live in programs, it lives in conversation. Vol. 2026 June 10th, 2026 Hi Reader, Like many of you, I work from home. I see clients entirely virtually. Instead of the traditional therapist couch and chair, I now spend most of my days sitting at a desk in an office chair. One unexpected benefit of this setup is that I have a collection of Post-it notes stuck behind my computer. Some are practical reminders—my EIN number, the coffee shops around the city...
4 months ago • 5 min read
The Lounge Because education doesn’t just live in programs, it lives in conversation. Vol. 2026 May 29th, 2026 Hi Reader, As you know, this month we're focusing on the AI/Chatbots, sex and relationships. Let's dive into our reader's question on the topic. . . TL;DR Having a sexual fantasy doesn't automatically mean you want to act on it. First, get curious about the role you want the fantasy to play in your life. Before bringing a fantasy to a partner, or a chatbot, explore the beliefs,...
4 months ago • 5 min read
The Lounge Because education doesn’t just live in programs, it lives in conversation. Vol. 2026 May 13th, 2026 Hi Reader, What do couples therapists do when characters from movies like H.E.R., Companion, or Lars and the Real Girl are suddenly not just science fiction, but rather real clients sitting in their office? When the couple on the couch is no longer two people, but a human and a chatbot? What is our duty? How do we support them? And, how do we feel about it? Spoiler alert. . . read on...
5 months ago • 6 min read